His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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