hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Boobs are out for the taking
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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