If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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