It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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