I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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