Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
