i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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