I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
