I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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