so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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