obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
