your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
