your thong is hanging out like whoa
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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