i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize