He is an equal opportunity slut.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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