Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
