I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
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Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
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There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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