The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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