I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
