I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
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She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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