After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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