I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
