Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
