i barfeds in our rink
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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