I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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