OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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