So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
