I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
