We're like a lot better than the average bears
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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