i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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