I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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