I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
