So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
