I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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