I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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