Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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