i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
