I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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