It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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