So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
