I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
