Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize