I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
