you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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