worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
