put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
