All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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