she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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