I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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