I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
