pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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