No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
