two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
