i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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