I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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