smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
