I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
