I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
